Grief Awareness 2021

 

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

There are a few reasons that I want to bring attention to grief. The first is my friend Jane who works as a Volunteer for Cruse told me to! The second is that that we are not good at talking about death and grief. It has become a taboo. Death and grief are uncomfortable subjects, and with this discomfort comes avoidance, and the more we do that the worse it gets. Thirdly this past year has witnessed a flood of grief. The most recent research I have seen on bereavement multipliers, comes from America which states  “every death from COVID-19 will leave approximately nine bereaved” This infers 1.35m million people will have been impacted in the UK. This multiplier doesn’t take into account the non – COVID deaths which are equally as important. Grief can also take many other forms such as loss of a job, loss of partner, loss of home, loss of security, retirement, empty nesting these are living griefs. Grief is not going to subside anytime soon.

“Speaking about grief remains an area of public discomfort, and it is important practitioners encourage bereaved people to view grief as a ‘valid’ reason to seek help from health and community services, as well as from those they trust in their communities.”
Andy Langford, Clinical Director, CRUSE Bereavement Care

What can we do to help?

  1. Individuals must feel that they can contact and connect to their community health and social care professionals, as well as organisations such as their Cruse et al.
  2. Raise awareness about grief, educate ourselves so that we can do our bit for our friends and families who may be struggling.
  3. Donations to fund training for organisations like Cruse et al.

I am not a grief specialist, but these are my tips for supporting someone who is grieving

  • Our connections are so important. Bereavement expert Julia Samuel asked her clients what is the most important factor that helped them towards recovery, the reply was a decisive “friends and families.” Show up, be there, acknowledge, witness their grief just as it is, without judgment.
  • Listen, really listen. Give your time and be able to sit there in silence if necessary.
  • Ask them “what can I do for you now”?
  • There is no time limit on grief. Grief cannot be rushed. We each experience grief at different rates and in different ways. Some of us cry and talk, some of us don’t. What works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another.
  • If you are supporting someone who is grieving remember to look after yourself as well, check – in, ask yourself what do you need?

Here is a small selection of resources:

Julia Samuel’s book Grief Works
www.juliasamuel.co.uk
www.cruse.org.uk
www.nationalbreavementpartnership.org
www.carolinelloyd.co.uk
www.itsgoodtotalk.org.uk
www.childbereavement.org.uk